Mother, Where Is Your Heart?

Matthew 6:21; " For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Mother, have you trained your children in a way that you enjoy having them around? Can you search your heart and truly consider your children a treasure? Are you highly irritated at your children's bad habits? When do you plan on training them correctly – tomorrow, next week, when they're old enough to reason with?

When you allow your children to get away with a bad attitude toward your authority, and you have the intentions of taking care of it later, I simply must ask, "why is later better?" Before you know it, ‘later' has allowed years of whining, pouting, tantrums, disrespect, manipulation, dirty looks, ‘I hate you's' and a child-run home. Mother, hang up the phone, say good-bye to your neighbor, put down that novel, turn off the TV, even, should I dare to voice - reconsider some ministries that you just have to be involved in.

Mother, it is not our role to make sure our children like us. It is our role to train them to respect our authority. My role as a mother is not to beg my children to obey. My role is to train my children to obey immediately. Trust me, you will like being with your children a lot more when they are pleasant, under control, respectful and kind to each other.

As a mother, my role is to "train up my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Do your children see Christ's love through your actions and words? Yes, I know your tired Who isn't?! Your schedule is packed. But, what is it packed full of ? Take a quick look - you may be surprised.

I'm with my three children all day, usually every single day, day in, day out. My first priority during any given day is to create a home environment that promotes 1) self - control of their wills. 2) respect for others (siblings included). 3) happy compliance when they don't get their every whim. 4) a daily routine that is an example of a work first / play later mentality.

Right now, I'm in the process of training my 7 year old to not be so bossy with his younger siblings ( a correction 20 times a day). I'm training my 3 ½ year old to obey regardless of whether it's what she really wants to do or not. I'm training my 16 month old to stop screaming and throwing himself on the floor when he doesn't get his way. I wish I had space to explain the neat progress we've made.

Do you think I' m able to do what I want all day and train my children? No way!!

Dear mother, we must daily die to self. In a nutshell, we must crucify our immediate desires and wants in order to obey what the Lord would rather have us do, train our children in a way that, as they grow and mature, they will want to obey and do God's will. This is the long-range goal that all parents should keep in mind, day in and day out. First of all, training is inconvenient, time consuming and just plain tiring. But, my Bible says, " do not grow weary in well doing."

Secondly, training does interrupt my pre-conceived ideal day. But the reward of an orderly home with joyful children is worth any amount of time it may take out of a perfectly planned day. It is not every minute of every day that I have my reward, but I can say that I'm slowly noticing a lot more moments of being able to truly enjoy my children instead of just putting-up with them. When I don't train, I pay dearly! Let me just mention here that when I say training I'm not necessarily referring to spankings. The better you train, the less you need to discipline. The more consistent I am, the more fun we have together. The more selfless I am, the more the Lord gives back to me. The more I serve the Lord Happily, in serving my family, the more I love being the Mom.

If you're struggling to maintain a joyful, parent-run home, first of all, ask the Lord for wisdom; secondly, ask the Lord to show you any blind-spots you have in your attitude towards motherhood; and thirdly, seek out a mother who happens to have children who seem to behave like you would wish your children would act more like and then pick her brain!

Decide with your husband who is truly controlling the house - the children or the two of you. Read some sound Bible-based child-training books. Seek advice from those who have been there and pray everyday for your children - not just a prayer that you can make it through the day.

God bless you as you seek His will and then perhaps you'll discover where your heart is.

Julie Pinkston

Copyright © November 1998 By Julie Pinkston